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  • Writer's pictureLennie Soo

Sassy Grandmothers

Updated: Oct 26, 2020

When it comes to sassiness and sexiness, these over 60s ladies are taking the internet by storm with their elegance, style, and fulfilling lives. They are living proof that confidence in women is very sexy!

Sexy is a state of mind

Feeling sexy is a state of mind and just like how maintaining our health is a practice, maintaining our sexiness needs practice too. Yet how many women over 50s are as serious about being sexy as they are being healthy? What do psychologists say about feeling sexy?

Let's face it. The basis for attraction has always been about fertility and the perpetuation of the human race. The female of our species have wanted (and still often want) men who are strong, virile and capable in this world.  It’s probably the reason why rich men and narcissists have so many women excited about them. Think James Dean. The bad boy and dangerous men are exciting and offer women a sense of safety in the biologically driven game of producing genetically better children. Besides the wish for procreation, a strong man also fulfils the need of a woman to feel at ease and protected.  It’s a powerful erotic turn-on in traditional societies and witnessed in modern culture in such things as our fascination with alpha male athletes and actors. While politically incorrect, biology has driven men from time immemorial to women who are healthy, of childbearing age and pretty. The male phallic drive goes way back, to having children who are going to be fit and attractive as well. Plus, in many ancient societies, men not only took care of their women but owned them too. An attractive woman who could produce healthy-looking children was the crowning achievement of his manhood. The phallic part of the male psyche loves his fast cars and beautiful women. Both can turn a man on.

So where does that leave menopaused women? From the perspective of developmental psychology, age and menopause are issues that do not define a woman's attractiveness. At every developmental stage, a woman brings out a different facade of her personality and character. What deemed sexy across all ages is the personality and confidence of the women.

Sexy is determined from early childhood

Freud overdid it with his theory of infantile sexuality. But, what happens in early life does count. Most people bond for the first time with their mothers. It may not be sexy, but it infuses the brain with oxytocin, the hormone responsible for that warm and fuzzy feeling when you are held and feel great.

Mom looks into your eyes. And, you look back. She playfully has fun with you…and you with her.  You suckle her nipple and enjoy her warmth and smell. You learn that there's a safe place to let go and trust. The universe is just right. The first person we fall in love with is always our parents.

Women who have felt adored by their fathers (not sexually but as a valued child) tend to avoid mates who treat them poorly; it’s in their bones. Paternal appreciation goes a long way for boys as well. It sets up a good role model for dealing effectively with male aggression and gives a young man a sense of healthy importance. Maternal bonding determines how the young man views women for the rest of his life.

Practice being sexy

Close your eyes and enjoy the feeling of knowing that you possess a certain charisma or quality that is noticeable or enjoyed by others.  Allow yourself to take delight in this.  Allow yourself to feel content about who you are and what you feel good about in yourself. Allow yourself to experience this as a sensation inside of your body. Focus on your strengths instead of comparing yourself to others from a position of weakness. 

Allow yourself to imagine what you bring to others, a certain kind of desirability that stems from both certain external qualities in alignment with the more important internal ones -- your personality and your heart. 

How do you experience pride as you practice this?  Focus on this experience, and explore the feeling of being sexy on the inside. Imagine it glows from within.

Ref: #sexygrandmas #sexyexplained #over60andsexy #wlegacies

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